When to Be Certain When Not to Be
We all make this mistake once in awhile…
It’s so confusing that some people ask us not to give up on our belief, like our goal or dream. But, on the other hand, some folks want us to set our belief aside and embrace the new one.
Which one should we choose?
The question is when should we use “I’m certain that I’m right” principle or “I’m not so sure, i might be wrong ” principle
The answer provided by my experience is, we should never hold our belief so damn tight, and in fact, most of the greatest scientist or inventor who seems to hold their belief so damn tight are actually not holding so damn tight. What they actually do is to maintain the confidence of their idea based on their solid evidence and their careful calculation of prospect, and what they didnt do is instantly reject the new information, new belief from others once they hear it.
Real successful people said “I’m certain that I’m right” only after rigorous examination about other's belief.
But things are very different when we learn things, if dont set our belief aside, if we dont hide our assumption, then there is no room for inputting new idea. Saying “im certain that im right” when learning will only make us less right.
Now, one of the most challenging situation is when we are in a debate.
Should we insist on our own belief and find any chance to refuse others when we realize true from opponent but wrong from us? Or should we just admit “Oh, im wrong about this, i agree with you?”
The answer based on my experience is: “depends on our goal”
If our goal is to win the debate regardless of approaching the absolute truth, then it’s better that we are stubborn of our own belief, and find any chances to refuse other’s opinion instead of careful examination. However, if our goal is to learn through this debate, then it’s okay to admit we are wrong.
Attitude matters
For example, one of my biggest problem at 20 year old is when i am trying to make decent conversation with new folks, i always have a negative tendency to say : “Im certain they dont want to talk to me”, so i just walked away.
But what i realized is that no matter how much they seemed dont want to talk to me, there is always a possibility that they do want to talk to me.
Because maybe they are just bad at expressing themselves just like i do sometimes, maybe they really want to talk to me but they are shy as well, so they pretend they are not paying attention on me.
202010 eric(naruto) Sofia
