What are the beliefs that has caused this?
new perspective for self-improvment
It’s fine. Everyone is doing this
Let me use eating food as an example. currently i am traveling in russia, i often received invitation to eat with people. its supposed to be a good thing, but the problem is that i have always been afraid to stop eating when i dont want to eat it anymore, based on the reason that i know eating too much would make me sleepy and have fat tummy. but its just so hard to refuse others when they keep asking me to eat more, even though i refused them once.
“eric what the fuck, you only eat a little bit”
“its holiday in russia, we should celebrate, so lets binge”
“why are you eating like a cat, men supposed to eat more”
these words make me feel like i was wrong to not eat normal. further they successfully convince me, i further convince myself “its okay eric, just eat! you need to eat more to socialize well”
but when i introspect myself, i always regret on eating too much, then i realize that the reason why i keep doing something that i dont want to do is because “most of my environment is doing it”
even standing up, i have been trying to stand up more “randomly”, why randomly is because usually my environment wont stand up because of healthiness. people usually stand up from sitting because they are about to do something. even though i clearly know that i should stand up when my ass feel tired, and standing is healthier than sitting, but environment constantly telling me
“its fine if you sit down eric, everyone is doing it”
its detrimental to self improvement if i keep follow the old belief
recently i have a big problem when i am traveling in russia — lacking of money. but to be correct,the problem will be arrive at least after 2021, meaning i am very sure that i have enough money so far to travel 1 more year. but why i am still worrying it?
ever since i dropped out of university, my parents constantly, every 3 days if not every 5 days tell me about my money wont be enough in the future if i dont have diploma. “even though eric you have some savings but traveling will quickly consume these savings” or tell me that my life is in danger because i only think about present but not the future.
due to these words, i have been having conflict within me sooo many times. because sometimes when my brain is clear, i am sure that money is not the major issue for me now, i know i have the talent to travel with low cost and focusing on making meaningful videos and articles are my priority even though i earn no money from it so far. but on the other hand, usually when i felt tired, and not focusing on any things that i like to do, i would start to be so worry like those people who overthink sooo much.
“eric, traveling in england would be 3 times more expensive than russia, what you gonna do in the future”
“eric what if after 2 years of contribution on youtube and medium, you still got zero money, and no sponsor will be helping you?”
“eric what if my parents are right, my saving right now its not enough for 1 year”
these thoughts truly occupy a lot of my energy, fortunately i know these are the words that i should not be too focus on.
BUT WHY?
because when my brain is clear i know these worries are from my parents whose generation and perception totally different from mine, on top of that i know my main goal is not to earn money, is to make meaningful impact to the universe. and even though i will be needing money in the future, i would love to and could always do part time job.
BUT WHY I AM STILL WORRYING THINGS THAT I SHOULDNT PAY TOO MUCH ATTENTION
reason is easy. because i have been listening to my parents words for 19 years, when i was young, their words are like the bible to christian. these old belief that i had received from my parents are still existing in my brain. whenever i start to do something different than these old belief, conflict would happen, how to get rid of it? its just the matter of “how strong and how much i want to do the new things, and trust my new belief” like my decision of writing diaries everyday its right, not getting high school and university is right, not focusing on earning money right now is right.
my problem now — justify old bad habit, how to solve it?
even though i decrease my masturbate frequency from sometimes twice per day to once per 6 days, its still not enough, my goal is to not masturbate at all,focusing on more meaningful things. but clearly i failed:((
the typical problem that i encounter before masturbating is “i like to give good reasons to make masturbate this action good”
“everyone is doing it eric, not a big deal!”
“just 20 minutes, wont be THAT energy consuming” when in fact usually take 1 hour”
“i masturbate now for the sake of practicing how to stop cumming when i feel so good” but in fact i am not serious and never success on stopping to cum when i am about to orgasm.
and the typical situation that i masturbate is usually im either tired or being close minded.
in my example, it was my old belief to make me do these old bad habit again, but if my new good belief is stronger than old one, everytime when i feel like wanting to masturbate i could quickly recall the new good belief.
“eric, you have been making same mistake over and over again, remember your goal is to save the world? dont waste your energy on here”
“you can do it!! you can be the only 6.9percent teenagers who dont masturbate”
“masturbate is consuming too much of my energy, write article is healthier”
i am still experimenting this method of holding new good belief, lets see after one month on my medium , if i will be masturbating or not.
in conclusion
whenever i want to improve myself but have problem to execute, or having problem with old habit, simply take 1 minute to introspect, asking myself
What are the beliefs that has caused this?
what are my new beliefs?
please criticize me (necessary)if you read my article, compliment if you want:))
202006eric
