There’s no point to tell your name when meeting new people
A new perspective to scrutinize our behavior
story background: i’m a nomad in russia now, usually i have chance to meet new group of people every week.
Ever since i was approximately 14, i have been disliking to remember names. in history class i was forced to remember who did what. and what’s the name of the event happened in which year. even physics class i was forced to remember who invented what, and whose theory.
ever since i dropped out from dropped out from university, My belief of “name is pointless” become more significant, i started to meet more new people. in army, on the street, during traveling. and because i really like to talk to strangers and they tend to tell me their name, i have the chance scrutinize what’s the purpose of remembering name.
hold hands then say “Harry”
here is the typical situation i encountered in russia when my acquaintance invite me to join their activity/meeting/party. a bunch of people would start to throw name to me and hold my hand. “alex” “sasha” “kolya” “dima” “nastya” “olga”.
then i would feel awkward, why? i might sound narcissistic, but i usually do things seriously, to be more specific, i feel like i have to remember all of their name otherwise there’s no point to tell me their name, but at the same time my crystallized intelligence told me that
“ eric, you have watched so many movies from hollywood, a lot of people introduce their name when meeting new people, there must be a purpose !”
purpose of introducing name
i admit that introducing name has a beneficial effect to bring people closer , BUT ONLY LAST FORAWHILE. in order to maintain good relationship, conversation content is more important.
take myself as an example, i want to practice only introduce my name when people ask me, or when i spotted the potential people that i could have high engagement conversation with. because it is very hard to focus on developing deep conversation with everyone you just meet, you gotta pick, therefore introducing my name to the person that has been chosen by me is very important.
why i still record people’s name down everytime i interact with stranger on the street
i have interacting with strangers frequently since 2019 and put it on youtube. if i have some fans that watched more than 5 videos of my “street interaction” playlist, you will realize i often ask stranger’s name, write it on my phone note, even strangers whom im unable to have high engagement conversation with.
BUT WHY? IF I AINT SERIOUSLY WANT TO MAKE FRIEND WITH THEM THEN WHATS THE POINT
because i want to make them feel engaged/respected/liked. also if i want to make myself more unforgettable to them, certainly i need to do something more unforgettable.
although russian’s name its really repetitive/simple.ive probably have 15 sasha in my whatsapp 21 nastya, 17 olya, 10 alina, 8dima, 11alexender
chinese people don’t introduce themselves , russian are used to introduce themselves
im from taiwan, when i approach strangers in taiwan, introducing my name, and asking their name. most of their reaction is very awkward. they either laugh, or say WHY. as for russian, they feel ease, and smoothly tell me their name, even let their hands out.
it’s cool to see there are still significant culture difference between countries. usually taiwanese/chinese people they dont interact with people on the street, or pickup girls/boys. even though in russia, rarely people do this, but MOST OF THE russian people tend to be more sociable than chinese, or in my observation saying chinese/asian are less sociable than countries like usa, uk, australia, canada,russia.
in conclusion
- shouldnt we be more selective about what should we say, and each words that we say has real meaningful function?
- if you are aiming to learn, instead of focusing on everyone, try to focus on the potential person that could have high engagement conversation with you.
please criticize me, i hope you could help me to gain more perspective, i hope you could share you thoughts in the comments i would love to read it, it would be fucking fantasticc
202006eric
