there is no such things as “oh fuck i failed”

how could we feel happy when facing with disappointment?

intro: this is my personal story when i was hitchhiking from a small village to krasnoyarsk(siberia big city)

why did i originally think i failed?

oh thanks god( i only believe in god 50percent, but everyone use it), i got a driver drove me for 5hours. i felt sooo thankful and lucky. it was still 2pm, still have plenty of time to krasnoyarsk.

i stood on the federal road, the only big federal country famous road from vladivastok(east russia) to moscow(west russia). i was feeling so confident about getting the next driver,because ive already got 3 drivers to give me free ride:))

the first and second hour of waiting drivers, it was cheerful, i danced, sing song, and for the most part, studying russian on my phone note. but after 2 hours of waiting, literally no one stop their car, i decided to use my wisdom and keep walking further, because i think drivers would give more pity if i stand at a middle of nowhere place. but disappointment started to happen…

me: “oh man, my baggage is so heavy, my shoulder hurt, my leg is actually also tired, im not kidding my eye is tired too, fuck the sun is really big now”

and honestly i also feel sad because no drivers smiled, started to become negative and thinking that driver even drive faster when they saw me. but actually this is the truth, because as my observation and other russians opinion, russian indeed drive super fast because russia is so fucking big like a individual planet.

i walked for 40 minutes, still no one stopped the car,. this truly makes me even more sad because i expected that more cars there supposed to be more chances(my mistake).

during the 3th hour to 5th hour, STILL NO ONE STOP THEIR CAR, i felt like i did something wrong. so i decided to become more active, shaking my body and smile bigger, but still no one stopped… spine was so painful because i carried two heavy bags with me for 1 hour. i felt so uncomfortable because so many freaking bugs attack me and it was super hot, even for me as a person who had been living in hot country — taiwan, i still cannot feel comfortable with me exposing under big sun for 5 hours meanwhile wearing snow pants, snow shoes,wool socks and long sleeves.

although i met a russian riding bike greet to me in chinese “ni hao”, then gave me super amazing gift — fire fighter clothe and chocolate. i still feel sad because this guy who speak chinese to me, he promised he would come back and invite me to his home , but i had waited him for 1.7 hours, still no one came. again,i should not expect he would come back on time(error)

at the very last hour, i was into a “give up”mode, planning to sleep on the street because it was already 10:30 pm, i sit on my backpack, checking my phone more often, phone call with my whatsapp contact, my focus was not on cars any more, only from time to time i raise up my hand and thumb showing i am hitchhiking:((

i am not kidding but miracle did happen

i took a shit, under the road far away from cars, i was still shy to shit at obvious place at this phrase of my life, i decided to walk to motel for no good reason, just to talk to people. BUT SUDDENLY!

ONE CAR STOPPED INFRONT OF ME, SHE GAVE HER FOCUS ON ME, AND ASKED ME DO I NEED HELP

i told her “ i really need your help, you are really so kind, thank you for stopping your car, basically i want to hitchhike to krasnoyarsk, but i have been waiting for 7hours but no one stop the car, may i have some water from you?(i actually have enough water, but i want to show her that i am desperately needing help) BUT BEFORE SHE RESPOND

ANOTHER CAR APPEAR! CAR DRIVER SAID “WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?”

i told him “may i go to krasnoyarsk?”, BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN

THE THIRD CAR APPEAR AND THE DRIVER WAS HOLDING FOOD AND JUICE FOR ME!

i instantly share my feelings with these three car passengers, totally 8 people.

ME:“guys i feel so crazy right now, i really want to cry, i have been waiting for 7 hours but no one stopped their car, now holly fuck three cars suddenly BOOM stop in front of me?”

mom driver asked me if i want to sleep at her home, but the 2nd driver also proposed to stay at her home. but what even sooo cool, is that the daughter of her mom, 12 year old, speak good english!! its not actually so good. but in russia, especially in siberia, its already quite impressive.

i stayed with the 2nd driver, 3 super cool things that has never happened in my life, happened all at once today!! host gave me new 3 pairs of socks and a short, 13 pets playing so hard at her house, and i was taking shower while 2nd driver she directly open the door and say “i didnt see your dick, and this is your shampoo i will put in front of you now”

we should thanks to failure more often than being successful

to be real honest here, of course if i successfully get drivers to give me a ride, i would be also happy. but if we want to experience miraculously happy, we must experience more failure.

because success means normal, and normal could be boring sometimes, thats why we want to travel, we want to eat different food. so if we keep doing something normal that is easily to be successful, for example, successful receive money every month from your restaurant chef job,successfully receive compliment from girl/boy friend.

so if we were to practice how to experience miraculously happy, in the same story, chef keep trying to create new dishes, after experience 179 times of tasting like shit, finally 180th time, taste like gold!! and rather than receive compliment from your intimate partner which is very easy(people tend to even lie), you receive compliment from your teacher, that your failure/hard work/patience paid off, by getting excellent grade/work.

if i successfully get drivers before these three cars, do you think i could experience this miraculous moment?? if i were always getting drivers to give me a ride every 20 minutes, do you think i will still be as happy as getting driver irregularly/unexpectedly??

in conclusion

@1 there is no point to 100percent focusing on achieving success, but rather we should pay more attention on the failure before it would no longer exist once you are successful:))

@ 2 dont make unrealistic expectation, like me keep expecting “within 10 minutes there will be a car stop”

202007 krasnoyarsk by eric(reincarnation of naruto)