Lessons from Approaching Strangers

I’m fortunate enough to have the braveness to admit my mistake

It’s hard to admit mistake when it comes to our profession.

But I want to live like a warrior

I dont want to be a loser who keep escaping from my own mistake and keep blaming others like how i used to blame my parents who didn’t give me enough love.

It’s certainly a paradox that although we have very little free will although our future is deterministic.

We can still change our attitude to make our future collapse accordingly.

Here is the mistake I made today even though I have countless of interactig with strangers experience.

Mistake1: Dont make unrealistic expectation

It’s funny that I have been practicing this and even preach to people about this concept but I still make the same mistake.

I admit I’m imperfect, I did make the mistake again, but I haven't give up on improving it.

I am in Chernivtsi currently, it’s a small town, it’s Ukraine, and i clearly know Ukraine is somehow similar to Russian culture — dont talk to people on the street.

It’s normal I will get rejected even though I only ask people”May i ask you a question”

I failed to calculate in “My appearance is different from most of them so people might feel scared”

“I dressed relatively different so people might feel scared”

“I do realized people here is relatively not good at English”

“There is not so much people on the street today, this is also one of the reason why I make way lesser friend than usual”

Tomorrow I should remind myself all these factors once i get rejected again.

Mistake2: What am i looking for?

I can’t believe i still feel frustrated by people refused to talk to me after countless of practices.

I should remember that I am looking for people who is ready to talk to me.

Not those who are forced to talk to me.

Why should i feel defeated by those who dont wanna talk to me? those I’m not looking for?

Mistake3: Gotta rest

I work a lot.

It’s a fact.

But i should not forget I am a patient, my eye and body sore very often.

Tomorrow I will take a rest every 18 minutes, I should use my alarm.

Mistake4: Revenge

I’m sorry to those whom I said: “I can sense your fear” after they ignore me

I apologize that i subconsciously want to be superior than others.

I’m lucky that i have the chance to admit my mistake on Medium.

I am sorry that I hurt some people’s feeling today.

I really dont want to do that

Tomorrow Even though people refuse to talk to me, I should say “youre still very kind” and just stay still where i approach the person, be silent, enjoy the moment when people give me chance to let me be alone.

Mistake6: Forgive

Even though these three people altogether say yes after asking them”do you want to make friend with you”

I still say thank you and walk away

Partly because they were answering indecisively

Partly because at this moment i only wanna talk to the girl

But mostly because i was still angry at my previous approaching strangers experience, angry at those who refused me so I was sort of revenging them back.

Some people will argue: “why the hell do you revenge on other people?”

It doesn't matter, my revenge was on humanity.

I understand my behavior was somehow similar to mass murder cases.

Revenge instead of forgive.

Revenge is really easier, forgive tooks practice

But I’m ready to practice tomorrow

Why forgive? Because there are a lot of people who is mocking at me today while I was refused by stranger, they dont wanna talk to me.

At least I make them smile.

But i still gotta do my work.

Mistake8: I failed to consider strangers as part of me, part of consciousness, I should not forget physical appearance do not exist, Dont treat myself unfriendly

202011 Eric(naruto) chernivtsi