How Hostel Boss Become My Friend
they are not as you think…
storybackground: im eric(naruto), my ultimate goal is to friendalize as much as human on this planet. currently traveling with super low budget throughout russia. today i booked a room on booking.com, but i was so shocked when i entered the hostel because…
life is more unpredictable than we think
hostel worker: “im sorry, we have no room left”
me: “omg, you must be kidding me, see i have evidence on my phone”
worker: “you should have called me first, we always left phone number on bookin.com”
me: “i understand your feeling, but its very late right now and i am really really tired, every hostel is occupied may you let me sleep here?” ( i actually didnt try to find other hostel, i was just too tired/lazy to find another one)
worker: “alright then ill arrange one sofa for you in the living room, 250 rubles:))”
me: “holly shit, why are you so kind”
in retrospect: i have 4 unpleasant experiences out of 5 at russian hostel. worker usually shouted at me, or ignore my question or need.
i am so surprised that she still talk to me normally when we had conflict about bookin.com
was i meeting woman version of jesus?
despite she treated me friendly, but my brain has too much of unpleasant experiences with hostel, i cannot feel relaxed
however
worker: “im sorry, i know you are tired, but could you wait me to arrange sofa for you?” ( with sheet and pillow on her hand)
in retrospect: im super surprised that she apologize and trying to help me with arranging bed, because i have already received tremendous help from her, logically, she had the right to ask me to do anything to help her.
reciprocity is the key
she even asked my opinion about whether does she need to turn off light for me, when usually russian worker would just do it without even informing me.
i woke up at 3am because the noise from the counter distract me, i instantly noticed the similar arguments i had about book.com…
“its a foreign client this time, worker might need my help to translate” i said it excitedly in my head
BINGO! as soon as i appear in front of her she said
“please help me, i dont understand what he is talking about”
after awhile i slept with warmness because she showed me her big smile after i helped her
life is more interesting without too much of money relationship
i decided to talk to the worker as soon as i wake up because i dont know when she will leave work
i started with my basic script( we talked in russian)
me: “what is your dream?”
she : “damn no one has asked me this before, let me think”
me: “ WHAT you still need to think your dream? i can come up with 13 dreams instantly!”
she: “i want to travel; but i got aint no money”
me: “i feel you, your salary is not enough and you gotta help you daughter, dont worry, please wait me albina(her name), once i get famous in the future which i certainly will, i will send money to you so that you could achieve your dream, so lets be friend on whatsapp?”
she make me so happy by smiling so big,
“why not” she said
we chatted from my unhealthy relationship with my parent to how less she sleep(3 hours), how bad is her relationship with her daughter, what is the problem she had to deal with when working, and 9 more questions from my “asking stranger list”
at the moment i was asking question to her, i feel like
“damn, i never know i would gain so many happiness without paying money and know so many of her personal experience simply by asking her questions”
from moneyship to friendship
before i checked out from hostel, i was still pondering how incredible it was, that me and hostel worker turned from having conflict about money issue to conversation about our personal life.
suddenly, she knocked my door and asked: “would you like tea or coffee?”
“nah i dont want to spend money other than water” i said
“i wana treat you eric:)), zero money” said by hostel boss
“wow, umm, okay, i want the option that you like, i want the same favor as you do” (russian always likes to ask me do i like green tea or black tea, for me everything is a bless for me already, we have too many options nowadays, wasting time)
what stunned me the next is that she not only bought tea and coffee, but also pizza and bread!
“eat eat eat, i havent seen you leave this hostel and eat anything for 12 hours” said by her
so i enjoy my very first meal of 12 hours from the person that i had huge argument with last night
i knew this is a good chance for me to give love, by asking what has she suffered recently, giving advises and simply just talking to her.
unexpectedly, after breakfast she told me that i dont need to worry about the rest of the hostel fee which i only paid 50% yesterday.
when i was 18, i would never attempt to chat with worker
i just paid money and walk away
why would i want to spend more time with a person who just want my money?
i sometimes even used a different attitude talking to worker, not impolite, but cold. like talking to siri
until 19 year old, i was inspired by andrew hales — a very interesting youtuber, then i started to talk to the people on the street more often, i even purchased camera and microphone for filming the process of how i interact with strangers.
and the more i talked to strangers the more i feel disappointed that people ignore me,
but the more i feel disappointed the more i lower my expectation from people
and the more i talked to strangers, the more new life experiences i would get
like most of the people who invite me to do super cool activities, giving me food, warming my heart are the strangers on the street.
this is how i started to chat with workers like friends in hostel, in bank, in post office, in bakery, any places.
because i realize chances are everywhere, i might encounter problem in the future and they might help me back
of course, not only using a “using others as an instrument” perspective, after asking a few questions, i noticed a lot of people need my help, like either having relationship issue, or exam issue.
and this is how i realized, how close could we be, how easy we could become friends, how easy to help people, how easy to be happy.
i know most of the people just like my old version, would leave the paying counter ASAP
well, you save time!
good job!
but you might lose a chance to make a friend who really need to make friend
you might even lose a chance to save them from depression
all you need to do is to say some stupid jokes and ask some questions or talk about yourself:))
try now! just to talk to strangers about anything:)) i wont be surprised if you will be happier:))
202008 eric(naruto) moscow
most of the people would do is to leave the counter ASAP
goal:convince people to help more and build more connection
problem nowadays: the differnce between taxi driver and hitchhike driver . the differnce between couchsurfing and hostel
