How fast we familiarize
storybackground: im asian, a nomad in russia now, its partly true that some russian discriminate asian, because ive observed the situation multiple times
storybackground2: i was so afraid that russia worker would treat me unfriendly again, i already have the experience of being treated unfriendly/shouted by nurse, immigration worker, hostel boss, teachers in russia. as for why, i will write it as an article next week.
therefore this is one of the reason why i want to avoid living in hostel and i would rather try my best to ask strangers if i could sleep at their home like in my video, May i stay at your home?. i asked more than 50 strangers, ultimately, found a stranger who pay 3 nights of hostel for me, it’s very hard to refuse him, afterall i dont have enough money.
afraid so much is pointless
the first impression of the hostel boss was the exact one i had as always in russia. this time, hostel boss argue with this stranger who helped me about room price, shouting about stuff i dont know cuz they talk so fast when angry.
i wasnt surprised but, i was like “ oh fuck, im gonna stay with her alone for 3 nights, i hope the anger between them wont make her treat me unfriendly”
indeed there are only me and her in this hostel, because of quarantine
but after i wake up from the 1st night, things are sooooo different!! she asked me how did i sleep? then ask me why i am traveling now, my parents are worried or not. at this point i felt so relieved because she is trying to build connection between me and her( well maybe she wanna ride me)
the atmosphere she gave me at the 1st day, is so different from now!! now she is even smiling, and complimenting my russian is good!!
she even share with me cool places around baikal, and kindly give me chairs for me to work on my laptop.
it so hard to imagine how uncomfortable i was at the first night, but after just 12 hours, holly shit i feel like i am living in parents home now, soooo comfortable, so familiar.
strangers become friends-like
i took a 3 days train from vladivasatok to irkutsk, at the very beginning i sit in the train and i asked my neighbor, (he was seat4, i was seat2), does he speak english or not? he said “no, i only speak chinese fluently” JOKINGG
i felt instantly down since i expected my train neighbor could chat with me in these 3 days
he tried several attempt interacting with him, but he was a quiet person, and wasnt interested in talking to me.
BUT!
i didnt give up on interacting with him, at the 2nd day of train trip, i asked him
me:“do you wanna watch my youtube?”
me:“may you ask what is my dream? because my dream is pretty cool”
me:“wanna eat my chocolate?”
but he was still being inactive:((
he:“well i dont watch youtube”
he:“yeah youre dream is pretty cool(showing a face that my dream is unrealistic and not cool)
he:”no thanks”
he was still not being interactive with me at this point
BUT!
everything generated by this question
he:” eric why did you dropout from university?”
me:” well, i have 13 reasons why i dropped out and i am making videos about it, are you interested?”
he:”yeah of course! because i am planning to study second university”
then i shared with him my 13 reasons why i dropped out of university and he was so concentrated on me, i discovered that even though he was quiet to me, but he gave me so many patience and eye contact, he further share with me his family background and his working experience and first university experience. he even show strong interest of why i love to study but quit school, he become so interested in me!
after this conversation, whenever i returned back to my seat from toilet, i felt so comfortable and familiar when seeing him, just like an old friend, no longer have the feeling of awkwardness.
the power of close physical distance
among these examples from unfamiliar to familiar, i discovered that whenever i stay in a limited closed environment with these people, like hostel room, or train cabin. we all sort of stuck in this environment and inevitably would interact with one another like asking
“may i use this table?”
“do you know wifi number?”
and as long as there is a not shy person in this situation, usually conversation would be generated, no matter how strange the stranger is. perhaps after some questions, you would realize that how attractive he/she is.
202006eric
