Birthday article to my brother
i am confused why writing letters to you brother…
first of all, i personally dont like to celebrate, i still dont get why most of the people celebrate, for me, i am happy 333 days out of 365 days , why do i need to create a “chilling or happy day”?? secondly, although i think we dont have as sweet relationship like others would have, but i am trying to pay more efforts on us, so that in the future, i could experience the brotherhood just like Itachi and sasuki in Naruto
the luckiness i get from you
i am lucky enough so that so far i still dont have to earn money for sustaining our family because your hard work had paid off, you have been getting good grades every since you were in elementary school, studying in the most reputational high school in our city, the most reputational university in taiwan. therefore you reassure me that i dont need to hold much of responsibility to make money.BUT i could already sense your feeling after i wrote this.
you:” da fcuk, you eric(me), seldom make effort for our family”
you: “who says that you dont need to earn money??”
you:”eric, you have been creating troubles for our family, i just hope you could stop doing this”
you:” i dont give a fuck about you ”
these are the results of my observations from our interactions in the past few years, however, i come up with a super cool perspective/hope just now!!
we have not yet finished our story
if someone give me a honest test about how good our relationship is on a scale of 1 to 10, would say 3. why? 1 point for you are still willing to help me by answering my curiosity of your life/thoughts. second point for us no longer hate each other like in childhood, at least in my childhood memory, you really make me suffered a lot. last point for making the number seem better:)) because i really think most of our interaction is meaningless, either i am not focusing on you, or vice versa.
if we asked most of the people “ eric(me) would be more likely to get from brother in the future , or brother would be more likely to get help from eric?” i think the answer is “eric would receive help from brother” because eric only has junior high school degree, he even lost it, eric is still sustaining his life by the help of parent, how could eric provide help to his brother? and why would his brother need eric’s help at the first place, i mean his brother has extraordinary performance at school, polite, knows how to cook, eric dont even know how to cook well…
“ wait NO!!” eric said
“ i mean these are facts, but that doesnt mean i have nothing valuable that my brother need!!” eric said it with confidence
blood relationship so what?
most of the people are still having this misconception of “you guys are members of a same blood-related family” how could you have bad relationship?
i strongly disagree, i myself have chatted with some people who also has bad relationship with their mom or dad or brother/sister even though they are blood-related.
blood relationship has nothing to do with real relationship, if you could, please debate me. but what makes blood relationship valuable is it gave us a reason for us to live together.
indeed we live together for almost 18 years, but how many times have we cooperated or paying effort on the same goal? i cant even count once in my head, maybe we had, but my intuition told me that we never had it, but i really want to know if we had or not, therefore let me think for 5 minutes…
“yes!! i got it i got it” , a couple months ago before i live in russia, we helped dad to clean windows, we together install windows, lacking of one of us may be super hard to finish the task”
“okay yes i admit we did pay high attention working on something together, but this “project” only last for 6 minutes!”
“fine ! let me come up with something longer”
“ well i got it, we are partners of playing badminton competition!! each of us practice a lot for weeks, we even had two times of cooperating experience!”
BUT!!
you and i both know the fact the i was the only person who was crazy about winning these badminton matches, you said it multiple times “im just accompanying you eric, i wasnt interested in winning the game”
words from our mutual mentor, 李啟黌
“ andy(brother’s name), you are like a good car which is driving on a highway, eric(me), you are like a jeep which is driving on mud”
“andy, you will be having a stable, and successful future “ “eric , you will be either having a super successful future , more successful than your brother, or you would had a shitty future, like the one you step on a shit then you slip, then you fall, then your teeth crush on the toilet, your chin touch shit as you fall on the ground…”
“andy your job is to provide a shield for your brother, and eric, your job is to fight and fight and never give up on your goal, dont worry about anything because your brother will protect you”
if i were an observer, an audience of these words, i might think this is a script/ plot from animation or fiction movies. ( im ridiculingly laugh now) well maybe, our mentor watch too much of Naruto, thinking of saying these scripts in real life might be so cool” i mean, how many human who has ever lived on this planet has the chance to have the same mentor, meanwhile having strong differences of behaviors , big contrast of personalities?”
my gift? or wish? to you
gift:you could always reach out to me, although i cant provide money to you, i cant help you nothing about your physics profession, you have friends as always, but still, i am always here, especially when you feel down
wish:i dont wish, i make actions just like you:))
i have always been reflecting ourselves as Itachi(you) and sasuki(me), at least i really hope, because its so cool!! but i failed on doing thought experiment on every attempt, because we didnt match at all!! just think of sasuki, he has super great performance at school, but me… or Itachi, he has always been protecting his brother, but you…
HOWEVER!!! I SHOUTEDDD, I AM ENLIGHTENED
“WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO PLAY the role of sasuki and naruto”!!
men at this i am so motivated to keep living just to make materialize naruto
