An Letter to Mr.Masturbation
storybackground:
Story:
“oh shit i dont wana be hard next to a guy”
I was sleeping next to my host
I always feel uncomfortable getting my penus hard next to guys
Gay it’s fine, but im not gay
I love girls.
I feel compelled to clarify it, otherwise girls would think i am gay, therefore…
MY PENUS WAS HARD NOT BECAUSE I WAS TURNED ON BY GUYS
MY PENUS JUST GET REALLY SENSITIVE AFTER 8 DAYS OF STOPPING MASTURBATION
Mr. Masturbation, this letter is all about you, you are the main character in this letter
However
You are not my main character in my life anymore
(Imagine someone one the street who pick up this letter)
“Goodmorning Mr. Masturbation:)) I have a confession about you .”
“The more days i stop practicing you, the more disturbance from my penus, and somehow my penus is connected with my brain, therefore my brainpower always have to be spared to my penus. I hate this because you know i love doing creativity”
“The moment I stop practicing you, my penus instantly become like a dog who want food.”
“If it don’t have what it wants then it will yell.”
“oh my god you motherfucking Mr.masturbation”
“I fucking hate you but i love you at the same time.”
“I love you because it feels good to be horny not even mention the process of practicing you ,not even mention the outcome, the product that you produce.”
“I hate you because you are boring, unchallenging, repetitive, discouraging, depressing.
“My life is not only about you.”
“I want to do a lot of things, I am ambitious, and purposeful.”
“You know it, you know me well, but you still slow down my progress of achieving my goal”
“Why you always have to block my way huh?”
“I have been practicing you for 5 years, arent you satisfied?”
“Mr. Masturbation, I’m sorry but i feel like you are so greedy, you already have too much love from most people”
“I think i have the ability to give my care and attention to those who is lacking of it”
“Mr.Masturbation, I believe you must be proud that you win this battle over me countless of time”
“You think I will love you forever right?”
“I want to say no, but i honestly i dont know”
“I have been paying attention on real sex, real work out, real health, real learning, real improving, real caring, real world”
“But Mr.masturbation you, you somehow, somehow you are still capable of letting me be fake”
“I was faking and lying to my friend that i stopped masturbating for 4 weeks but it was only 4hours(JOKINg 4 days)”
“I know i should not blame you, i should not blame you are intrinsically charming, i should not be jealous that you are the son of the king, son of the evolution ”
“Man, you are powerful, i admit you are powerful”
“Everyone loves you, everyone loves you”
“You are smart enough to sneak into people’s blindspot, when people are tired,you attack them, when people turned on by instagram browse you seduce them ”
“Mr. Masturbation You know what i admire you?”
“you are courageous enough to attack people’s confidence, you know people are frightened of asking for real sex, then you jump in, like how wicked witch gives apple to Cinderella”
“Wow Mr.masturbation , you are the savior, i wonder how many badges people has given to you”
“But for me, I just wanna take selfies with you, just to remember how much we have gone through”
“You will still exist in most people’s life, from age9 to age 69”
“but im not quite sure, i guess i dont know you enough”
“I wont forget about you, and i should not and i dont want”
“Because you are part of me, i dont want to deny it”
“I love practicing you, really, please dont be mistaken, otherwise why would i miss you so often?”
“But you know there is life lesson i learned from my language learning partner
“she told me: “Eric, There is no forever friendship, when people learned enough from this friendship, from each other, they will move on and find the next one”
“I was sad and cannot accept that she no longer want to be my friend, but now i understand”
“I know it sounds cruel, but Mr. masturbation, I never want to offend you, but you no longer satisfy me, i cannot learn from you anymore”
“You can stiil visit me from time to time, but at least not in the next 21 days”
“Because people on youtube told me that , 21 days can successfully quit a habit or form a habit”
“Dont worry, i wont forget you but im gonna try it, I love youtube better now”
“Dont worry, I bet you will still have a lot of friends”
“Dont worry, because trust me, you will be delighted to see how I become success”
“If we are still friends”
“Thank you for existing in my life”
Your sincere, Eric(naruto), Bucharest 202011
